Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions like, "Should we be scared about our jobs? Aren't you scared?" The person asking usually expects a soothing response. In reality, I can't answer that for them. But let me tell you something personal. I'll put it out there, and I can revisit it in a few years.
I was scared, a lot, in late 2023. When ChatGPT and the first versions of Cursor were starting to get traction, I was genuinely panicking. I had many sleepless nights and high stress that led to outbursts over random things, stress that was affecting my mood and my relationships with the people around me. In the mornings, I would wake up my son and make him hurry to get to the Kita because I felt I had to spend every minute of my day upskilling. My colleagues at the time thought I was paranoid, claiming it was just a better autocomplete. My reaction was, "Even if that is a 30% productivity boost, that will mean smaller teams." I would argue that we have passed the 30% mark...
On top of the AI fear, I was working at a company that had turned very toxic. The management was trying to turn the ship around and cut costs in every possible way, doing layoffs where they could, forcing people to quit where they couldn't, and even removing the printers from the office because "people print too much." I was trying every sort of supplement shit out there, from Lion's Mane to Ashwagandha. Nothing was helping. There were days I started having chest pain the moment I passed the office door.
Something had to change...
I started therapy to manage my stress and began talking openly about it with my wife. I decided to change companies to leave the extra toxicity behind, even though the job market wasn't great. And I started reflecting on a few things.
I love work. Not just the work in tech, not just coding or being a manager. I love work in general, the very act of feeling useful, of doing something productive. It may sound strange, but I can't stay passive, it may have something to do with my genes. My grandma was working in the fields until she was 92, and now my dad works every single day after his retirement and gets annoyed when the weather is bad and he has to stay home. So that was the first reflection: I love to work. I could do anything, I'm fine doing anything as long as I can provide the basics for my kid.
I live a modest life. The second reflection was that I don't need much. During the last 15 years in tech, I've received promotions, salary jumps, and bonuses. My base salary has increased substantially, but my way of living never really changed. I don't try hard to save every penny, but I also don't buy things I don't need. I live a modest life in general. I don't have debt. I don't owe anyone anything. Well, I could do something that pays less, and I wouldn't feel much of a pain.
People seem to like working with me. I got my current job through a recommendation from an ex-colleague, and the job before that. I got quite a few suggestions to go work with other ex-colleagues. Last week I got a job offer from one of my ex-CTOs (I declined it). It seems that people like working with me.
There is still some social support. Even if shit hits the fan, I live in Germany. There is unemployment insurance, public healthcare, and a system that gives you time to figure out the next step. It is not perfect, but it is a safety net that exists.
On top of all that reflecting, I also started eating healthier, learning how much processed food can play a role in making you irritable and anxious. I started taking long walks and going to the gym 3 to 4 times per week.
So, am I scared? There are moments that I still have this feeling, but they are not sleepless nights and there are no outbursts that affect my relationships with people. I have my health and I love my family. I stopped looking for guarantees and started looking for reasons. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.